Toby Hodgson
| Sex | Male |
|---|---|
| Committee position | Treasurer |
| Nationality | English |
| College | St Peter's |
| Clubs | Blues and Centaurs, St Peter's |
| Teams | Blues, Centaurs, St Peter's 1st |
| Blues | 2007/08(Details) |
Statistics
for all clubs
| Apps (sub) | Minutes | Bookings | Goals (pen) | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Last season | 17 (3) | 1480 | 20 | 1 (0) | |
| This season | 4 (0) | 295 | 00 | 0 (0) | |
| Career | 30 (3) | 2585 | 30 | 2 (0) |
Biography
Toby is the biggest person you'll ever see. Known as 'rocket' by some of his peers, he can clear the crossbar from the halfway line with next to no effort. His impressive bulk has come at a huge cost for OUAFC, who, in order to accomodate the collosal thighs that Hodgson possesses (3m circumference) have had to buy an entire new team kit, size XXXXL. Subsequently, the Blues midfielder Hobbit Knight appears to have been playing in 3/4 length trousers for the duration of this season. Unfortunately, Toby's shorts remain too small to house his tree-trunk legs, bursting out of what continue to resemble hotpants. This gives Toby the appearance of a 1980's lesbian Soviet Union discus thrower.
Toby can be found at Martin Keown's house on most evenings, playing poker and watching 'Friends' on the host's enormous plasma. Recent team-bonding sessions, organised by Blues Captain Paul Rainford, primarily focus on stroking Toby's legs, much to the displeasure of Keown, who assumed he had exclusive rights to the erotic pleasures of Hodgson's pins. Keown stated in a recent interview: "It's not fair! I did all the groundwork with Toby, he's been round at my house four times a week, eating me out of house and home, just so I could have a feel of this guy's legs. This fuc*ing joker Paul fuc*ing Rainford is a cu*ting fuc*wit, but I'll fill him in soon....not literally..."
He's renowned for his controversial goal celebration, which involves apologising to his team-mates for previous errors.
Toby is known as "sexxxxyyyyy!!!" by teammates, and considers himself to be a big name in University life. However, his fame pales in comparison to that of his sister Poppy - recently voted fittest potential fresher in a university wide poll. A landslide victory of 76%, confirmed her as the Blues' favourite wanking topic.
On one occasion, after being booked, Toby surprised many teammates by giving his name to the referee as "The Honourable Toby Hodgson". Upon further investigation, it became apparent that Toby is in fact a Lord, and is currently 3rd in line to the throne. This high social status, previously masked by his horrendous dress sense and awful personality, has ensured that the Blues will have no problems securing Post-Varsity accomodation, Buckingham Palace being the residence of choice. All hail his majesty, the Honourable Toby Hodgson!
