Oxford University Association Football Club

Biography

Cam has secured himself a place in the Blues team this year by being the only person eligible to drive the minibus. His lack of aerial threat was initially a worry to the manager Martin Keown, but Cameron has made up for it with the ability to run through the oppositions’ legs.

He recently had a haircut in an attempt to make himself look less like a hobbit. Cameron was kindly offered a choice of nickname regarding his Tolkienian appearance, finally opting for Frodo. Frodo has often been seen on the prowl within the walls of Imperial, occasionally settling for middle-aged brunettes with their legs open. His restless hands will sometimes lead to an inappropriate shout of "I've found the ring!" before shrinking under the disgusted glances of fellow teammates.

He wears earrings. He thinks they are cool.

A spokesman for Cameron Knight read a statement on his behalf in response to his new biography on the OUAFC website. It said:

“Oi, you wanna pipe yourself down mate.”

After trying to sign Knight for the last two seasons, OUAFC were finally able last summer, to complete the purchase of Knight from Hobbits XI for a record transfer fee for OUAFC of £4.5 million. An anonymous insider at Hobbits XI said that the club felt they had to accept the offer, given the large sums involved. "I think in the end the club had a choice to make between an average-sized person and £4.5 million, they decided that the money could be used to develop the club and that Knight's time at Hobbits XI had come to an end". Knight was delighted at the transfer and said he could not wait to play with star names such as Toogood, voted the 2nd best striker in the university, narrowly losing to de Walden in an epic TV vote which attracted 675 million voters worldwide. "It's a fantastic opportunity for me and I'd hope that I can help bring success to OUAFC." Big words from a small person.

Initially Cameron's introduction to the blues team was not a success, with many of his team-mates believing he was further away from them than he actually was. The confusion lead to many over-hit passes beyond the diminutive midfielder. In attempt to correct this problem and to ensure OUAFC's continued commitment to being an equal opportunities employer, coach Keown introduced another 'little person' into the squad in the form of second hobbit Steve Carolin. Knight was said to be pleased with this addition, saying he and club lawyers were exploring the possibility that himself and Carolin may only technically count as one player - measuring, as they do, 5 ft 1 inch when on one another's shoulders - and that future Blues teams maybe able to legally field 12 players. Unfortunately for both Knight and Carolin, the plan was never put into operation as the latter was found drowned in a 3 litre bottle of cheap cider after centaurs varsity. Police are still searching for Tom Wherry, wanted for questioning in relation to the incident. An Oxfordshire Police spokesman was also keen to emphasise that this investigation had no relation whatsoever to do with the charges of chronic masturbation given to Wherry by the Jersey Police force. Those charges were levied after football chants composed entirely of the lyric 'Wherry is a w$nker, Wherry is a w$nker, lalalala' spontaneously appeared in every football ground in the country.

Cameron recently introduced the ability to 'arrive in the box in numbers' to his game. This new facet has been much marvelled at by coach Keown, who seems to be the only person to have actually witnessed Cam perform the (possibly) unphysical act.